Saturday, August 16, 2003
For the first time in forever I can say that I'm genuinely exhausted. Me and Steven and the whole group of us went out to a mini-golf place that had video games and all sorts of stuff. We played video games first and I won myself enough tickets to exchange for a pink chinese finger trap (last time I came here I got a blue one), a superball, and a blue shiny sticker. Then we split up to play golf. I ended up with a young (and I do mean young) couple who I've never talked to before. They were really fun to play with given that we all did badly on an extremely creative course. Then we played some more video games and went to Chili's. I ended up ordering some really bland cheesesticks for seven bucks but all in all it was worth it.
Sounds bland once I lay it out flat. There were a few pocketful of details though: Quynn was there with her three kids. She got majorly pissed off at Dawson when he ran off and didn't respond to her calling. This was the first time I've seen Steve's dad and youngest brother (heck this is the first time I've seen any of his siblings). After put-putting I was watching the young couple I mentioned earlier play a multi-player video game. The girl got on the high score list on level eight. all the highest were level ninety-nines and the guy commented that those were the people that spent fifty-seven bucks on it. I got to know Jen a little better. She's over here on some missionary thing and she claims to hail from Pennsylvania although her accent isn't anything I've heard from the United States. She was the one that gave me the ride to all these places. She had her car radio set on the christian station and while she was driving me home one of my favorite songs came on: Remember Me. I haven't listened to the christian station in years so the song touched me all the more. I'd give anything to play it over and over again.
Another thing that happened last night/this morning. I was lying in bed seeing through Tullia's eyes to help with my writing and I kept thinking through her if there really was such a thing as a "fulfilling" life and if there was more than just sleeping, eating, paying bills, seeing friends everyday and "going through the motions". Then I got up to use the restroom and I see the familiar lights of the tv from the living room. My mom had been watching it for about half an hour because she couldn't sleep and I knew why. I just sat down with her and wtahced it - it was an old Catherine Hepburn movie about a couple in the 1800s with very fine musical talent. I wasn't really interested and my mind kept wandering but I just stayed there because I knew even with silence the mere presence of another can bring some comfort, and that's what I wanted to do with my mom. I think my dad kind of spoiled it though because he came in and asked when she was coming to bed, leaving the kitchen light on, etc.
All I have to do now is look at myself now and despair. I'm so skinny it's like I'm not even there. I'd give anything to gain 30 or 40 pounds and look healthy. I actually did eat some peaches today and man they tasted sooo good. I think I will indulge myself tomorrow morning instead of sleeping in like I usually do.
Sounds bland once I lay it out flat. There were a few pocketful of details though: Quynn was there with her three kids. She got majorly pissed off at Dawson when he ran off and didn't respond to her calling. This was the first time I've seen Steve's dad and youngest brother (heck this is the first time I've seen any of his siblings). After put-putting I was watching the young couple I mentioned earlier play a multi-player video game. The girl got on the high score list on level eight. all the highest were level ninety-nines and the guy commented that those were the people that spent fifty-seven bucks on it. I got to know Jen a little better. She's over here on some missionary thing and she claims to hail from Pennsylvania although her accent isn't anything I've heard from the United States. She was the one that gave me the ride to all these places. She had her car radio set on the christian station and while she was driving me home one of my favorite songs came on: Remember Me. I haven't listened to the christian station in years so the song touched me all the more. I'd give anything to play it over and over again.
Another thing that happened last night/this morning. I was lying in bed seeing through Tullia's eyes to help with my writing and I kept thinking through her if there really was such a thing as a "fulfilling" life and if there was more than just sleeping, eating, paying bills, seeing friends everyday and "going through the motions". Then I got up to use the restroom and I see the familiar lights of the tv from the living room. My mom had been watching it for about half an hour because she couldn't sleep and I knew why. I just sat down with her and wtahced it - it was an old Catherine Hepburn movie about a couple in the 1800s with very fine musical talent. I wasn't really interested and my mind kept wandering but I just stayed there because I knew even with silence the mere presence of another can bring some comfort, and that's what I wanted to do with my mom. I think my dad kind of spoiled it though because he came in and asked when she was coming to bed, leaving the kitchen light on, etc.
All I have to do now is look at myself now and despair. I'm so skinny it's like I'm not even there. I'd give anything to gain 30 or 40 pounds and look healthy. I actually did eat some peaches today and man they tasted sooo good. I think I will indulge myself tomorrow morning instead of sleeping in like I usually do.