the apple tree

this blog's being really weird...oh well. My toothbrush finally had to be put out to pasture the other day so I couldn't brush my teeth. It got so bad I even dreamed of going out to the store and getting a new one (it was cool too; it was clear yellow plastic with those little bubbles in it and a comfy grip). But I "borrowed" my mom's toothbrush. Shhh.

Speaking of my mom, we made a cake together tonight. Actually I baked it, she iced it, and I put sprinkles on it. It was mmm mmm good. In fact I'm craving a piece right now...

yes I know this is horrid...shut up!! No really, just bear with me while I try and change around all this html stuff. Hey I haven't done this in years so sue me :P

BTW, I fixed the "mariners" link. ahem.

Good news! I found the site where I stored my mp3s. Bad news! They deleted my account 2 months ago.

bad news! the desktop isn't working so I have to use my sister's laptop, and she's throwing me off soon to talk to her fiance for hours like she does every day. I kinda feel sorry for my uncle, though; just because he used to work for a computer company my parents call him up every time they have problems with the desktop. Sorry I'm typing with the laptop on a small table in front of me and it really hurts.

I'm sorry also for the ugliness of this blog. As soon as our computer gets fixed I'll screw around with it some more to beautify it.

I'm also sorry for lying yesterday. Tonight! Tonight will be the night when I post up my fic (if my computer gets fixed, of course).

Hmm, what else...my dad woke me up at 8 a.m. (again) to run another errand with him. Turns out we never would've had to take the trip if dad just looked a little more closely at the papers he had. Then at about 12, when I was about to get up anyways, he came and used the computer....for more than 2 hours. Poor me was stuck in bed with my pants across the room.

Oops, almost forgot more bad news: I forgot the name of the site where I stored close to 200 mp3s about a year ago. I really wanted to listen to them, too. If anyone knows where they are, email me.

I have the overwhelming urge for meatballs. No idea why. I just really really want some right now. Mmmm.

I was going to go out and buy a cheap new toothbrush to replace my old fraying one but as I was listening to the radio they just had to announce today's high temperature. Guess I can go one more day with the old thing.

I'm going to post up the first part of one of my fics tonight and/or redesign this blog. Everyone else's looks so much better.

I started reading Tibullus last night. So far it isn't as good as Ovid, but then again I have yet to finish it. Plus Ovid is kinda funny (and erotic...yum).

I'd kill for some meatballs right now.

Today is the worst day of my life. Sorry I haven't written in a few days, but nothing much happened. I spent Saturday reading Amores and The Art of Love by Ovid. Guess who's my new favorite author? I wish I knew someone like him. Better yet I wish I was his dear Corinna!

Yesterday I was forced into going to my parent's church (again). The people are nice but my parents can't get it through their thick skulls that I don't want to join their church. I have friends at my own church and they make me feel like the adult I am. After that I slept most of the day.

And now today. Today we're going to get our family picture taken at the mall and my mom is forcing me to wear my bridesmaid dress. It's hideous!! And I have to go out in public with this! My sister Lilah has to wear the same thing because my mom wanted us to look like 'twins'. Ug. Now everyone's yelling at me. Grrr. My mom can have a whole conversation with Lilah but whenever I try she always gives me short clipped answers. As you can tell I'm not in a good mood. Where's Ovid when you need him?

I feel....blah. Actually I don't know if that's the right word. Today has been such an emotional roller coaster. I'm writing in choppy sentences. My sister's wedding shower was today. I think I'll write this in chronological order.

My dad woke me up at 8:42 to take me to the bank. I usually sleep until noon to waste time. When we were walking outside there was this skinny black guy. He was sitting on our front lawn. He wanted to know if my dad was a preacher. My dad said yea. They got to talking and somehow we ended up in this guy's apartment. A note about his apartment: it was bare. Really. The only thing he had in his living room was a green (fake?) leather couch that was barely off the ground and three small portrait-style pictures above the fireplace. In the living room, which was just a windowed corner of the apartment was a glass and what looked like wrought-iron table with about 4 wrought-iron chairs. That was about the only things I could see. I thought to myself, 'Man, insert a tv into the living room and this place would be kinda cool.I thought to myself Turns out this guy has a deaf wife and four children. We met three of them and they were cute kids. Anyways, this guy agreed to come to the church my dad pastors at and maybe start up a deaf ministry. We all prayed, then me and my dad went to the bank and did what we originally planned to do. There was something this guy said, though, that I want to write down before I lose it. He was talking about his wife and he said:

We were married as soon as I met her.

I dunno. I kinda liked it. ANYWAYS my and my parents then proceeded to pick up my sister Lilah from the airport. Then comes the best part of the day. Apparently my dad missed our exit (which isn't hard to do) so we wandering around for about half an hour. I was oddly spacing off so I had no clue what was going on. then we didn't know what gate my sister was coming into so we accidently parked on the opposite side of the terminal from where she was arriving. When we finally met up with her I couldn't help but smiling at the site of her. She's just one of those people that does that to you. She only had one piece of baggage to pick up so we waited. And waited. And waited. Watching those luggages spin around and around really does something to you. Lilah insisted she 'kinda' knew what her bag looked like and none of those were it. Finally only one piece was left and we watched it for awhile until my mom snapped and told my sister to check it. You can guess the rest. Then because the bag was so heavy (she packed another suitcase inside to hold all the shower gifts) my mom worked as a team: she held it by the handle and rolled it along by its wheels and I pushed it from behind.

Then we went out to eat blah blah blah. Then we went wedding shopping blah blah blah. Picked up my other sister Lori from the airport blah blah blah. Went to a tiny restaurant and everything tasted gross blah blah blah. Then came Lilah's wedding shower.

Don't get me wrong - my sister has been my closest friend since lord knows when and I want her to be happy. But I guess that's my problem - as her sister and confidante I really want to play a special part in this joyous celebration before I 'let her go', so to speak. But I feel like I'm being overlooked alot between her friends and our relatives. The night was fun for everyone and there was never a dull moment, but somehow I felt empty and like I was watching everything through a wall. Like I was there but I wasn't. By the time everyone had left I was practically screaming inside of me to run outside through the streets and inhale whole lungfuls of cold frostbitten air. I knew I couldn't though because A) I was at someone's house and B) it was the middle of summer. We eventually got home and I caught the last bit of a baseball game with my dad on tv.

All I want to do is find out who and what I am. I want to escape from all of this. I've often thought about taking a cheap bus trip to somewhere like N.Y. or L.A., if only I had someplace to stay there. Actually I do have friends in both cities but I don't think they'd appreciate me mooching off of them. One thing is for sure, though, I'll be out of here by next year (somehow).

update: apparently I have no idea what I'm talking about. It's working now! yay!

my blog isn't working the way I want it to...grr. Oh well I'll mess with it later (that's my answer to everything). My sister's wedding shower is tomorrow, although my parents have yet to tell me when exactly she's flying in. Go figure. Like I told my mother, who on earth would have their wedding in August?! I can understand if you have no choice, like my parents, but geez people. I'd never, never, never have my wedding in August! Never! Ugh.

I just got back from watching Twilight Zone to see my beautiful Mr. Sisto. What should I say? He was incredibly cute with that wool cap :)

As for the rest of it....what the dell? The old Twilight Zone was creepy, and that's what made it famous. This new version is laughable and was one of the most predictable shows I've ever watched. I didn't know if it was because of the bad acting or the bad script, although I'm tending to side with the latter since I know Sisto can act well (think Caesar). And is Florida really still using the electric chair? I don't know for sure but I wouldn't think so since just about every other state has abandoned this method. I laughed at the end, though, with the whole statue of Nemesis thingy, although I can't see why they would put up a statue of her on a justice building of all things.

...did I mention Jeremy Sisto is hot?

Recently I was researching some information on Fulvia and came across this snippet of Marc Antony by Plutarch:

"However, Caesar, by dealing gently with his errors, seems to have succeeded in curing him of a good deal of his folly and extravagance. He gave up his former courses, and took a wife, Fulvia, the widow of Clodius the demagogue, a woman not born for spinning or housewifery, nor one that could be content with ruling a private husband, but prepared to govern a first magistrate, or give orders to a commander - in - chief, so that Cleopatra had great obligations to her for having taught Antony to be So good a servant, he coming to her hands tame and broken into entire obedience to the commands of a mistress. He used to play all sorts of sportive, boyish tricks, to keep Fulvia in goodhumor. As, for example, when Caesar, after his victory in Spain, was on his return, Antony, among the rest, went out to meet him; and, a rumor being spread that Caesar was killed and the enemy marching into Italy, he returned to Rome, and, disguising himself, came to her by night muffled up as a servant that brought letters from Antony. She, with great impatience, before she received the letter, asks if Antony were well, and instead of an answer he gives her the letter; and, as she was opening it, took her about the neck and kissed her. "

Now if only I had someone who acted like that and looked like Jimmy Stewart, I'd die a happy woman ;)

I just got back from getting my cavity filled. I wasn't surprised it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be; when my dentist told me about my cavity all I remember was "tooth decay" and "needs drilling". They didn't drill at all, or if they did I didn't feel it. Now I'm really careful about chewing because if I do it too hard then it starts to chip off and scares the crap outta me.

I came up with a short piece on my way to the dentist's office but I'm too lazy to recall/type it. Maybe later.

Listening to: Sean Hannity

Mojo thinks this is ugly. Screw him.

Yesterday an idea came to me and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. It's a story about the four Daughters of Rome (well, the late republic at least). There's Julia, Caesar's daughter, who is level-headed and very devoted to her absent father; Tullia, Cicero's daughter, who is the epitome of a daddy's girl and knows how to get what she wants; Porcia, Cato's daughter, whose father is an extremely strict conservative; and Fulvia, Marc Antony's wife, she is very outspoken and brash but at the same time very loyal. The best part is these are all real people - and I get to take alot of creative license with them since little is known about them :)

If I ever write anything I'll put it up here. Ciao.



Real conservatives don't wear underwear!! Just ask Cato!

Here I am. Sitting at the computer. Doing nothing. I wish it were already August 25th so I could frikkin start school already, but the days are going slower than molasses. Did I mention my birthday was yesterday? There's nothing on the radio. I'm bored. Maybe I'll start reading The Iliad again. It's about the only semi-interesting book in the house I haven't finished yet. Hmm.